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I Don’t Wanna Be-Gavin Degraw

I Don’t Wanna Be-Gavin Degraw

This song is a classic. Contemplate on the lyrics. It has helped me a lot before and now.

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Q & A

Today, I had 3 cups of coffee consecutively. It really doesn’t help when you’re the only one drinking coffee and you’re brewing for three. Coffee is a substance that wakes every part of my psyche. It keeps me awake in all sense possible–physically, emotionally and spiritually. Probably, this explains why I suddenly put out my laptop and type words even I don’t know where it will take me. I have…

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Forever 21

Disclaimer: This is supposedly my birthday essay. It was written a week before I turned 26 but due to my busy schedule, I failed to post/upload this one. This pretty much summarizes how my life turn out in the recent years. A very personal essay on my triumphs and failures. Melodramatic as it sounds but this is just me verbalizing my thoughts. So, if you’re in for the drama, you’ll dig this one.

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As a kid, it’s has been a conscious effort to do good in any exam. Probably, I have too much competitive skills. Modesty aside, I have a pretty decent record on these tests. Ace most, do good at most and perform average on few.

Needless to say, I’m not used to failing that much or I’ll never be, I guess. Well, that’s just my ego talking there.

I remember when I had my first failing mark when I was in College. It was a manual drafting class. I knew I was no good at drafting at least the manual one but it never crossed my mind then that I could fail. But then, it happened. I remembered I shed quite a bucket of tears because I knew I’d never qualify for any academic awards. (Ego talking, so forgive the arrogance). And by my standards, no academic awards was a first. However, instead of moping around and flunking some classes, I focused on not doing anything to be in that position again. It worked out pretty well. Graduated with just one failing mark and got my engineering license on the first try.

Less than a month ago, I had my first road test. Again using the same excuse, I thought then I was no good at driving–Clumsy, slow reflexes, and no road sense at all. And with this thinking, you already figured out how it turned out. I ran into a curb. Of course, that’s automatic failure. Whenever people ask me, I’d always sugarcoat the story and tell them vague things for me not to embarrass myself. The truth is, I ran into a curb on my way to parallel parking.

I failed the road test on the first 60 seconds.

It really crushed me that I almost gave up. I know driving for most is a petty thing like everyone knows how to. But it’s a big deal for me like math to English majors. Of course, I decided to continue practicing. With a lot of friends to back me up, I have been getting the hang of it.

The fear that kept me from learning has been stripped away. 

I’ll take another shot at it on Monday. I really don’t know what awaits me. Though I said I let go of the fear, there’s still a little of it. A big thanks to the pessimist inside me. But you know what, every performer needs a bit of stage freight. It’s not really a mystery that even the pro feels nervous once in awhile. I figure I may not be able to completely let go of the fear, but I’m going to bring it. I’m going to the do my darn best. And if by any mishap, I shall fail. I’ll just take it some other time until I finally pass.

But I’m still betting I can pass.

 

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Road Blocks As a kid, it’s has been a conscious effort to do good in any exam. Probably, I have too much competitive skills.
Recovery by James Arthur

Recovery by James Arthur

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This morning when I was browsing randomly on YT. I came across a past X-Factor UK winner, James Arthur. I like singing competitions because it wakes my critical side music-wise. Having said that this guy impressed me that I’ve been watching his videos for hours.

My early favorite would have to be “Recovery.” The song speaks for…

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Struggle (bounce back)

This past week has been a real struggle. A test to keep it all together. Distracted. Disorganized. Lousy. I can list all the adjectives just to emphasize how bad the week that has gone by. First, I was not in my element at work. It felt I haven’t accomplished much and a burden to everyone. It’s just very unlikely that the OC part in me was too dominant that I froze at even the smallest challenge…

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Struggles

This past week has been a real struggle. A test to keep it all together. Distracted. Disorganized. Lousy. I can list all the adjectives just to emphasize how bad the week that has gone by. First, I was not in my element at work. It felt I haven’t accomplished much and a burden to everyone. It’s just very unlikely that the OC part in me was too dominant that I froze at even the smallest challenge I was facing. Pretty sure you know how OC person behaves. Just too bad when you’re trying to prove yourself.

I’ve been neglecting my health. For some weird reason, I was lazy to work out and eat right. I felt that my body could survive even without proper food, sleep and rest.

I’ve been losing my purpose. It’s like waking up, going to work and sleeping. I was just going through the motions and letting time get the best of me instead of making the most out of it.

But thankfully this weekend is slowly turning the tables. Simply put, I’ve had the day to contemplate and just relax. Hey, it’s not that bad after all. Still got plenty of time to bounce back. Thank you my Creator for letting me experience uncertainties to help me in my quest for purpose and happiness.

I’ve shared 55 memories with my friends on Path - see them now at path.com!

I’ve shared 55 memories with my friends on Path - see them now at path.com!

A Thousand Years

Listening to this in the middle of the day. I asked you before to cover this one for me.

A Thousand Years

Listening to this in the middle of the day. I asked you before to cover this one for me.

Facebook Dilemma

Facebook Dilemma

I came across this yahoo web article while keeping myself awake in the sleepiest hours of a work day. Since everyone’s on facebook which has been an avenue for almost anything under the sun due to its very loose censorship, I have to occasionally check who am I connected to and unfriend those who I barely know or I don’t care about. And this article pretty much summarizes what…

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